Letting Go

Today was a good day. I was really struggling this weekend with what it means to be a good teacher and with some personal worries. I'm reading a book called Codependent No More to deal with my personal relationships. It's been very freeing to realize that I take on other people's problems and that is the source of much of my anxiety.

Today I've started making active choices to detach from other people's problems, to not try to solve all their problems and not worry constantly about others. I do this especially with my husband and my students. I waste a lot of energy on stressing out about their happiness, trying to get in and fix their problems and not getting anywhere. Today, I tried to let go, and it helped. I was able to dedicate my energy to my students today. I had fun teaching, felt happier in the classroom, felt like I was more approachable and involved with my students. It was a good day.

In my last post I wrote about how I didn't know how to evaluate my teaching. At this point, I need to start trusting my instincts. I know when things aren't working and when they are. If I feel like a lesson went well, then it probably did. I can't control what my students do, I can only control myself. I can control my teaching. I need to stop trying to control everything and everyone else. If I am keeping track of student learning and keeping track of my own feelings and impressions, I can evaluate my teaching and feel good about it.

I need to let go of a lot of things. I need to let go of my anxiety, my need to fix everyone's problems, my self-doubt and my fear of relaxing and enjoying myself. This month has been hard, but I feel like I learned a lot and I feel like now that I'm at the end, I've figured out ways to be positive.

At the beginning of the month I posted about how music has effected by mood.  So to end the month, here is another song that I'm hoping to keep in mind.